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How to talk to kids about consent and safety in age-appropriate ways

Talking to children about consent and personal safety is essential for building their confidence, setting boundaries, and preventing harm. These conversations should start early and evolve as kids grow. You do not need to have one “perfect” conversation about body safety. Having multiple short conversations about body autonomy and other sensitive topics is most effective.   talking_to_kid

Teach children that they: 

  • Have the right to body autonomy and safety 
  • Should trust their intuition about uncomfortable situations  
  • Have important voices and you are an adult who will protect them 

Children’s early experiences with body safety and consent affect their interactions and relationships over their whole lives. We can keep kids safe and healthy! 

Tips for teaching kids about consent and safety: 

  • For young children (ages 2-5): Use simple language and everyday moments to teach about body safety. Teach children the correct names of all of their body parts. Explain that private parts are the parts of the body covered by swimsuits and underwear. Tell children to say, “My body, my choice” and “I am the boss of my body.” Tell children that it is okay to say “no” to everyday touches like hugs, kisses, and tickling. When kids say “no,” grown-ups should always listen and stop what they are doing, even if they are family members. 
  • For school-age children (ages 6-12): Talk about personal space and explain the difference between safe and unsafe touch. Tell children that these rules apply to adults and other children. Role play –  help them practice saying “no” and seeking help from a trusted adult. Teach children not to keep secrets and use “happy surprises” instead –    we always talk about surprises, in the end. Tell them that, if someone tells a secret that makes them feel sad, scared or uncomfortable, they must tell a trusted adult. 
  • For teens (ages 13+): Discuss mutual respect in friendships and relationships. Talk about digital consent, the importance of verbal agreements, recognizing coercion or manipulation, and trusting their gut about uncomfortable interactions. Encourage teens to tell you the truth about things they have experienced. Let teens know that, if they tell the truth about something that has happened, even if they broke a rule, they will not get in trouble. 

Remember, it is not just kids in charge of keeping themselves safe. It is our job, as adults, to protect kids. There are experts at the Child Abuse Research Education and Service (CARES) Institute who can provide additional support and resources.